I really enjoyed the imagery, from the visual and verbal description of the room, to the school, video game and Queen stuff. I think it has enough sense of exploration to provide with choices, although a more finished version of this would perhaps expand them further. By far the most promising to me about the story is the possibility of fleshing out the Queen and her world: From the lore of the world, to the core motivations and needs of the Queen, the more these elements are described, the more you will see avenues for expansion for your game. Here is a small writing for games tip: Make a list of all the characters, and briefly describe for each what each wants, and what each needs (even if they don't know it). This seems like a world word expanding for sure!
I think this game is good. But maybe you can add choices that does not go back to waking up from a nap but lead to much more clear and good endings as well.
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I really enjoyed the imagery, from the visual and verbal description of the room, to the school, video game and Queen stuff. I think it has enough sense of exploration to provide with choices, although a more finished version of this would perhaps expand them further. By far the most promising to me about the story is the possibility of fleshing out the Queen and her world: From the lore of the world, to the core motivations and needs of the Queen, the more these elements are described, the more you will see avenues for expansion for your game. Here is a small writing for games tip: Make a list of all the characters, and briefly describe for each what each wants, and what each needs (even if they don't know it). This seems like a world word expanding for sure!
I think this game is good. But maybe you can add choices that does not go back to waking up from a nap but lead to much more clear and good endings as well.